The Bottom 95%!

The Bottom 95% is out of flux!

Peter A. Dutton, Jr. handed the Bottom 95% over to myself (that's Ben Guaraldi for those of you who haven't looked at my homepage). But I basically don't maintain it any more, so if any one is interested in taking over, then let me know.

Peter who?

Peter A. Dutton, Jr. He's the man who thought of the Bottom 95% as a piece of cunning repartee to Point's Top 5% of the Web spot. (See next section.)

What does it take to be a "Bottom 95%" page?

The only criterion is that the page must have never received a Top 5% rating from The Point Survey (the Bottom 95% logically follows, right?). That's it. Your page doesn't have to be bad or useless or good or interesting or anything other than not being a Top 5% site. (Repeat: You cannot have won the spot. Really, people if you're in the Top 5%, you can't be in the Bottom 95%.)

Great! So what do I do?

Copy the logo (at the bottom of the page) and put it on your page, along with a link back here. (If you've got a Windows browser, you can probably copy the logo by right-clicking the image and selecting "Save to Disk" or some such thing. For Macs, hold down the mouse button on the image and select "Save to Disk" or whatever. If you've got Lynx, I really don't know how to download an image rather than going to its URL.)

That's it?

Yup. You'll notice that there's a list of sites connected to this page. I haven't been maintaining that for almost two years now, and I don't think I'll ever get around to it. So please don't submit (or re-submit) your name, URL and page name. Thanks.

What are the best comments you have gotten about the page?

Pier Foresi from Italy said, "please i dont understand a bit of your crazy page, but i like it anyway. ciao!" I like his attitude.

David Smith from Texas wrote, "I found your page by looking at our local web administrator's page. I find it somewhat disturbing that he is listing himself here." His web administrator has not yet responded.

And, lastly, Point Communications not only knows of this page's existence, but was all set to give it a Top 5% badge. Of course, that would have condemned the page to death wallowing in painful hypocrisy, as well as threatening the vast tracts of pulsing, former-ARPAnet T-something wires that vibrate like ley lines across the fertile fields of all knowledge. So be it.

What happened to the ?

The star was just a small thing Peter copied from somewhere and was serving as a logo just fine. Then Eric "Kwij" Ruck designed the really groovy logo you see at the bottom of the page. Well, let's just say that it was so hip that it's no wonder there's nothing below its pelvis. But the man ("Kwij", that is) outdid himself by making yet another logo. You're welcome to use whichever you like.

Just remember Benz rule of thumb: The star will impress your friends with its humility, the new logo with its incredible stylishness, and the jpeg of the logo at the bottom of the page with its frugality. (So why am I still using the gif? Good question.) Use whichever you like.

Better yet, use all three!

What gives you the right to do this?

Many an eon ago, Peter said, "Nothing! I don't need the right! That's the beauty of the Web. If people want to play along, then great! It's just a silly little thing I decided to do for the heck of it to spice up my own second-rate Web page. Besides, someone had to do it eventually."

That's what I would say, too, except Peter said it already. (I'd be a bit more likely link it to my own Web page, though.)

So who has made the Bottom 95% so far?

Word spreads fast! Especially now that this is listed in Yahoo! Since the list of Bottom 95% Pages is getting long, it's on its own page. Feel free to check out and comment on all the other pages (especially mine!).

Is there anyone else you need to thank?

Of course! I certainly need to thank Peter for starting it. Without him all of this would be road. Peter, in this corner of the web you're always welcome.

I also owe extreme gratitude (and boy is the interest a doozy) to Kar, averlyn and Sam for their enormous help filling in most of the names for the sites in the last three 95s.

Peter already thanked Eric for creating the logo you see at the bottom of the page, and I'd like to thank him too, especially for the new logo.

And of course, thanks to all the people who are making this page a success by linking themselves to it!

Who wrote this document anyway?

Well, now most of the document's mine. If you liked his version better, it's still around. That's all his code, so old links now point to the wrong places. Since it's really around as more of a momento for all of you Bottom 95% old-timers, I'm not planning to update it. Speaking of momentos...

What is a "zucchetto"?

I'm glad you asked. According to Webster's New World Dictionary, Third College Edition, a zucchetto (zoo-KET-oh) is a skullcap worn by Roman Catholic prelates: an abbot's is black, a bishop's is purple, a cardinal's is red, and the Pope's is white. The name is from the Italian word for "cap" (zucchetta), which is in itself the diminutive of the Italian word for "gourd" (zucca). So now you know that the Pope isn't wearing a yarmukle.

Well, have fun.

Thanks. You, too! Let me know if you like what you see!

And don't forget to put the following words (or something to that effect) and link on your page:

[The Bottom 95] [The Old Bottom 95] [Benz Home] [Entertainment Guide] [Cyberland City]

Created 12/2/95, last modified 3/13/96 by b.guaraldi@dartmouth.edu (a.k.a. zaphod.beeblebrox@dartmouth.edu).